You’ve heard of “drop the mic” and “drop it like it’s hot”… But what is sub drop? For all you ladies and gents out there participating in BDSM, this is very important for you to understand. Whether you are a Dominant or a submissive, sub drop is something to be aware of.
Sub Drop vs Sub Space
In every sexual encounter, there are different experiences of enjoyment and difficulties. Two states of mind that can be achieved during a BDSM scene are subspace and subdrop. So, what’s the difference?
Essentially, they are states that exists at two extremes. While subdrop is the ‘down’ or ‘low’ after play, subspace is the ‘high’ achieved as a result of play.
Subspace, also known as “headspace”, “flying” or “floating”, can be described as an altered mental state which some submissives achieve during very intense play. Submissives can enter into different levels of subspace at different times with different stimuli. A submissive can stay in subspace for minutes, hours, or even days after a session has ended. Every submissive that enters into subspace may or may not share similar sensations or experiences, most describing the experience in different ways. As you can see from this general description, subspace is a complex and varied experience that changes for each submissive.
Defining The Dynamics
As discussed in Being a Submissive in a BDSM Relationship the Dom/sub dynamic varies. However, every sub could experience sub drop at some point in their scene encounters. Sub drop is the emotional and physical effects of the release and drop of endorphins in the body after a BDSM play session or scenario. To better understand what this means, we need to look at the chemicals working through the body.
Basically, endorphins are produced by the pituitary gland and the hypothalamus during exercise, excitement, pain, consumption of spicy food, love, and orgasms. They resemble opiates and give a morphine-like effect… In other words, they produce a feeling of well-being and even have pain-killing properties! The endorphins released during BDSM play are similar to feeling high or ecstatic. Once the play is over, endorphins start to fade. This creates an imbalance in hormones and endorphin levels. The endorphins and hormones leave your body in such a way that it takes time to rebuild the balance in your system.
Sub drop can have physical effects, such as fatigue, sadness, aches and pains, and recovery from marks. You could feel like you have a hangover or partied too hard the night before. You could feel lost and depressed for hours or days! The effects may occur immediately after play, minutes, hours, or days after the scenario. Some people recover in a matter of hours, but others could exhibit signs of sub drop for weeks after an intense session. But it’s not only subs that experience it. Drop happens to Tops and Dominants as well as subs or bottoms. The most important thing to remember is that it can happen to anyone – new subs, experienced Doms… everyone. It is perfectly normal and the effects can be managed and alleviated.
Counteract The Drop
In order to counteract sub drop, aftercare is needed. Aftercare is the negotiated time after a scene or play time where you recover and take care of both the Dom and subs needs. This is also a time to reconnect to reality and re-establish roles outside the scene. Some scenes are very intense emotionally and psychologically and the Dom may need to help the sub unwind or recover and vice versa.
The point of aftercare is to make the sub feel accepted, wanted, safe, secure, and comfortable. For a Dom aftercare is necessary to make them feel comfortable and to reassure them that they are appreciated and their actions were not violating the sub. With consistent application, good aftercare will help grow the trust between Dom and sub, and will help the relationship to blossom and reach new heights and new pleasures.
A drop kit can be helpful for Doms and subs that experience moderate to severe drop after play sessions. The kit may include beverages, bubble bath, food, massage oils, music, etc. For more information on aftercare, read Why Aftercare is Essential After Any Sexual Experience.