What’s the most powerful aphrodisiac? It’s not chocolate or oysters, it’s your mind! Your brain is directly connected to your sexuality. When people deal with sexual anxiety, shame, or guilt, their bodies often can’t perform sexually. So it also makes sense that you can make yourself orgasm just from the power of your mind! Yes — that means orgasming without any touching at all.

You have probably heard about this phenomenon, whether it was through a Lady Gaga interview, the show Strange Sex, or one of your friends who is super into tantra. You probably think it’s total bullshit, or something only a few lucky people can do. Well, I’m here to tell you that anyone can do it! It’s a skill, just like learning to ride your bike. You may have a hard time getting there at first, but the more you practice, the better you’ll become.

You may be wondering if this type of orgasm feels different than your normal run of the mill orgasm. The answer is yes. Instead of feeling a quick, grand release in your genitals, you feel pleasure throughout your entire body for a longer time. This orgasm is like a valley as opposed to a peak orgasm. Instead of feeling exhausted after orgasming, you’ll feel energized! So let’s get to the good part, learning how to do it!

Here are two different ways to to approach orgasming with your mind:

The first way is a form of meditation. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Believe it’s possible. When Barbara Carrellas, an expert and teacher of this type of orgasm, orgasmed without touching herself in an MRI, the same parts of her brain lit up that do from any other type of orgasm. Carrellas has said that anyone can learn how to do this. If you don’t believe you can orgasm this way, it’ll never happen. Let yourself believe you are capable of this, because you are.
  2. Breathe deeply. Focus on your breath by expanding your belly as you breathe in and letting all that air out again as you breathe out.
  3. Make noise. Sigh as you breathe out or say anything that feels freeing to you. For instance, you can repeat “freedom”, or “let go” as you breathe out.
  4. Get comfortable. Lie on your back in bed.  You can bend your legs or keep them straight, whichever is most comfortable for you.
  5. Let yourself feel deeply. This is not about being turned on from external factors such as sexual images or fantasies. This is about looking within yourself. Let yourself feel any emotion that comes up, whether it’s happiness, sadness, or a new emotion you didn’t even know you could feel.
  6. Move your hips. Move your hips upward as you breath out and move your hips downward as you breath in. Get in a rhythm and continue.
  7. Surrender. Let yourself totally let go as you lose yourself in this practice. Let your body feel this new type of pleasure. Don’t worry if you don’t orgasm. This takes practice, just like learning how to orgasm. Some may not orgasm the first few times or many times but that doesn’t mean it’ll never happen.

The second way is more sexual. Here’s how to do it:

  1. Believe it’s possible – see Step 1 above!
  2. Get your body turned on. If you’re not already turned on, move your hips up and down to get the blood flowing.
  3. Pick your fantasy. Think of a scenario that turns you on without judging yourself. The same fantasy that helps you orgasm while you masturbate will help you orgasm this way as well.
  4. Imagine you’re being stimulated in a way that brings you to orgasm. If you orgasm from having your clit rubbed a certain way, imagine that happening in the fantasy and imagine what it feels like. If you feel your body react to this, keep imagining it happening consistently.
  5. Surrender. Once again, the same as Step 7 above!

This sexual super power will bring you one more step closer to reaching your full potential as the goddess you are. It can be hard to unlearn how we are taught to think about sex. We have so much more sexual potential than many know is possible, and this is only one example of that. We have the potential to have meaningful and magical experiences through sex. Once you open your mind, your whole sex life can transform!