I remember being in high school and hearing girls call each other sluts or whores. It was a common thing to do when a girl had slept with her boyfriend of two months or three days. I would call another girl a slut just because she was dating the guy I liked, I heard rumors about her behavior, or even something as simple as the way she dressed and presented herself. I started this behavior around my freshman year of high school and it continued until I was a sophomore in college.

Fast forward three years, at 22 years old, I find myself getting upset with people when they use the word slut in a negative context. Usually when a female calls another female a “slut” or any other synonym for slut, it’s not because she was getting paid for sexual activities. A lot of the time, women call other women sluts, whores, or skanks because they are jealous, insecure about themselves, or any other reason they have – besides the actual definition.

“Slut shaming” is a term that has come to light thanks to many social media outlets. Many feminists, whether they claim to be one or not, are speaking out against slut shaming. You can find slut shaming in almost anything these days, whether it be literature, television, or browsing the Internet. A perfect example of slut shaming is the comments that happen when someone takes a sexually explicit photo and posts it online. The people who comment about how trashy, disgusting, or slutty it is of the person to post that online feeds into “slut shaming”. This is more likely to happen between females than between males or males to females.

“But wait. You’re telling me that women are the reason behind slut shaming?”

I don’t think women are the ones to blame, nor do I think men are the only perpetrators. I think that both sexes slut-shame, but women tend to be more public about it than men. Men couldn’t care less if a woman is sexually active, while women tend to judge one another based on their sexual partner count, gossip about who they slept with, and judge each other for it. There really isn’t any point to it, other than making other women look bad. There are some men that do have the thought process behind slut shaming, but overall, it seems that there are less men than women who verbally and publicly express their thoughts on the matter.

In this patriarchal society, women should be supporting one another. Why? Well, who else will? We are the only ones that understand each other’s pain, suffering, and the obstacles we go through to get somewhere and succeed in life. Why would we choose to push each other down instead of lift each other up? I understand that this is easier said than done, but acknowledging the problem is the first step to actually solving it.

I’m sure you’ve seen those signs talking about slut shaming and how some women “deserve to be raped” based on how they are dressed. If you’re anything like me, you get pissed off immediately and are outraged that someone would even try to validate why someone was raped. But, even if you’re disgusted with that concept, we are doing the same thing to each other when we judge another girl for how she dresses, no matter how small or insignificant we think our comment is. No, I’m not saying that anyone thinks someone else should get raped. I’m saying that those who negatively judge the way another girl dresses, are already labelling her as being easy or sexual or just a down-right slut, and that is a part of the problem.

The next time you hate a female and call her a slut, ask yourself why. If you cannot come up with a reason other than “well I just don’t like her” or “she likes the same guy I do”, take a moment to see if the term matches her, or your feelings about her. Maybe it’s your jealousy taking over, or that you think having multiple sex partners is frowned upon, or maybe it’s just that society’s values have influenced your thoughts. Yet, even if she is, by definition, a “slut”, you are using the term in a derogatory way, under the assumption that a girl should be embarrassed of her sexuality. In reality, there is no reason to be ashamed of being sexually active.

You may not realize it, but when you use the term “slut” as a bad word, you are giving in to the slut shaming epidemic. Do you want to be a part of the solution or a part of the problem?