The heat of the moment is a sexy, safe space to explore the dynamics of hot and cold sensations with temperature and wax play.

Imagine your partner naked on a lush, cozy bed – the lights are low and a candle burns on the bedside. Before you pounce on them, you try dipping your finger in the candle and spreading it down their back. Maybe you try dripping it across their chest, then downward.

Can you feel the temperature rising in your body? What if your partner holds an ice cube in their mouth as they wander the surface of your skin?

Temperature creates different, even explosive sensations, especially on our most sensitive bits. Let’s explore how you can try temperature play and wax play with your partner.

What is temperature play?

Temperature play can be an incredibly erotic and thrilling way to explore new sensations and foster trust and intimacy through open communication and playful experimentation. The sensations themselves can be incredibly arousing, as can the mystery of not knowing which sensation you’ll feel next!

Temperature play explores warm and cold sensations, such as warm massage oil, an ice cube, or a warmed or chilled stainless steel toy.

What is wax play?

Temperature play and wax play are both forms of sensory play, but they each involve unique sensations to stimulate your sense of touch, and sometimes, the sensation of a pleasurable pain (if it’s your thing!). 

While temperature play involves both hot and cold sensations, wax play is the definitely-hot sensation of dripping body-safe wax onto the body. When exploring this type of sensory play, note that regular candle wax can burn — opt for wax specifically designed for erotic play!

Why you should try wax play with your partner

Wax play can be an exciting exploration into BDSM and power exchange dynamics as the sensation can create intense physical and emotional experiences. It’s definitely important to have open communication, trust, and knowledge so that you can play safely and explore with caution.

For folks into BDSM or power play, wax can add variety and intensity to an already-steamy scene in your favorite position.

How to try temperature play at home

Start simple at home, exploring with a cool or warm fabric, or a toy that’s been dipped in ice water or warm water. 

Avoid freezing cold ice or toys making contact with your most sensitive areas so that they don’t get “stuck.” Create a water barrier between ice or cold toys to help them glide smoothly. 

Experiment with different areas of the body to explore where it feels the most pleasurable, or blindfold your partner to keep them guessing where you’ll touch next! Communication is key, so always check-in with your partner, establish boundaries, and set a safe word before playing.

When you’re ready, let the contrasting sensations take you to the edges of your pleasure.

How to try wax play at home

Use low-temperature wax play candles or massage candles designed specifically for body-safe play. Test the wax on a small and less-sensitive spot of skin, before exploring more sensitive areas like nipples or vulvas. 

Go slow and gradual to get your senses used to the new sensations. You can even pour wax or oil onto a surface first and dip a finger in to ensure it’s the right temperature, or pour in your hand to cool it on a less sensitive area before touching the skin.

A woman holding an ice cube between her lips.

Tips for hesitant beginners in temperature play

If you’re feeling hesitant or nervous about trying wax or temperature play, communicate with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Consent and communication are so important, and your feelings absolutely matter in any sexual activity. 

It’s healthy and sexy to set boundaries around what you like and don’t like, and you can always say no to anything that doesn’t feel comfortable. 

Start small and slow, and gradually work your way up to more intense sensations as you feel comfortable!