Bringing Competition to Friendship

Maybe you’re talking about your weekend, maybe how many hours you worked that week, but this friend will always one-up you in any situation she can. A lot of the times it’s subtle and you can ignore it but sometimes you want to scream that she doesn’t have to win at everything. Her boyfriend has to be hotter, she has to be more successful, and she always spent more than you did on her outfit for the night. Lace up your Nikes because you’re going to need a referee for this friendship.

This Isn’t Racquetball

It’s all fun and games when you’re at the gym, talking shit to your partner to get them riled up, and wanting to get their best game. However it’s another ballgame when the matter becomes the issue of who has the better lipstick on. Nothing is too small for the competitive friend; she will make a game out of anything. A lot of the time this friend is very fun, outgoing, and loves the spotlight which makes for a good 2/3. There’s friendly competition and then there’s the friend that actually wants you to feel bad about yourself just so she can feel superior. The worst part is when someone throws a ball in your court, you can’t help but want to play the game. So at times, we find ourselves playing along to their Olympic events. We hike up our skirts and flirt with guys we wouldn’t look twice at without a lot of liquor, just to show that we are still in the running for Most Irresistible Female, or whatever it is she’s trying to win a medal for.

Boys, Bars, and Bodies

She paid for less drinks, more guys hit on her, her ass looks amazing in the new dress, and so many girls in the bathroom just told her how pretty she is. Meanwhile you’re sitting there in jeans and a hoodie, with resting bitch face so people don’t talk to you, and wondering how exhausting it must be to care that much. It’s only competition if both parties are trying right? Wrong, in the eyes of our opposing friend sipping her fruity cocktail. This combative friend is also still around because we seem to get amnesia when it comes to her rival tendencies. One weekend we swear we’re going to cut her off and never go out with her again but, by the time Saturday rolls around, we’re making excuses for her saying she was probably “just having a bad day” and “she’s really not so bad”. So we make plans once again and end up trying to ditch her by saying you have to go to bathroom and sneaking out. When it comes to making plans for the weekend, she’s at the bottom of the list, right there with the Drama Queen.

The “Subtle” Competitor

This friend isn’t always obnoxious and clear about her competitive streak. This could be a very sweet friend that you wouldn’t suspect it from. However when she starts sulking in bars when a guy talks to you or even leaving you out of things intentionally, it could be because she feels you’re a threat. Even if you don’t feel competitive with her, she feels that way about you and it can ruin your friendship. Even if you don’t want attention, sometimes it’s given anyway, especially at a bar by drunk guys. So she will start throwing out subtle insults while you’re talking to a guy and then laugh it off as a joke later. She may not be bringing herself up to make herself feel better but she is wanting you to be less of yourself so the playing field is leveled out. If this is a really good friend, a lot of the times you’ll change yourself around her without even realizing that you’re doing it. You pass on the low cut shirt or ignore the guy trying to make eye contact with you, anything to not spark an insecurity in your friend. This friend is making herself a competitor by not wanting you to be you, or be proud of you when you get hit on, like a Partner in Crime would be. This is harder to see and may take longer to figure out, but eventually this friend will remind you it’s a dog-eat-dog world and it’s every canine for themselves. The best case scenario for this friendship is to share a mutual friend that understands this girl’s competitive qualities and you can make your own game out of watching how ridiculous she can be. Keep score. Document with videos. Be sure there is plenty of liquor. While being a rival and a friend is exhausting, it can be entertaining if you have someone on your team.