So you meet a new lover and they’re everything you would ever want: sexy, compassionate, funny, smart… the whole package. You’re getting along great and you start making out, and you’re like, “Wow, this is gonna happen.” — and happen, it does. You start touching each other, your shirt comes off, their shirt comes off, next is the bra, then the pants — and then, you realize… their dick is HUGE.

Maybe it’s long. Maybe it’s wide. Even more intimidating – maybe it’s both. You have this moment where you pause and think, “This is full-on porn star dick. I can’t even deal. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do with all of this?!” How can one possibly take a big dick that size?

First: take a deep breath. Big dicks come on partners of all shapes and sizes. Previous pseudoscience has tried to tie dick size to shoe size or height. and has all been proven false. The only thing science says may predict dick size is index finger size relative to ring finger size. (Pretty wild, right?) But unless you’re checking out your partner’s index finger size (*cue awkward conversation about why you’re looking at their hands*) you’re not gonna know until you get to that moment when their pants come off. I’m here to tell you, there’s no need to turn and run. With a little bit of knowledge and a few tips, you’ll be working that extra-large dick like a pro in no time.

A woman's hand holding a large cucumber and covered in a white liquid.


How Can A Big Penis Possibly Fit Inside Me?

Having sex with a big penis doesn’t have to be an acrobatic feat, and doesn’t need to spark fear. There are a number of things you can do to take a big dick comfortably or give a blow job to a well-endowed partner. With the right foreplay, arousal, and relaxation — plus the right moves, sex positions, and techniques to keep you comfortable — you can take a big dick with much more comfort and ease. 

Remember though, every body is different, and both vaginas and penises come in a variety of sizes. If you are experiencing pain, always stop. Pain is your body’s cue that there might be an injury ahead — so it’s important to listen to your body’s signs and not push past your limits. You can always revisit and re-adjust with new techniques in the future! If you’re feeling discomfort, you can pause, slow down, add lube, or go back to foreplay and arousal as your vaginal muscles relax. Let your body warm up naturally at its own pace!

Some folks will remind you that your vagina can literally push out a baby, so it is possible for the vagina to expand to accommodate larger penises. Yet, your body produces hormones to help you… and there are still complications like tears. Every vagina has a different amount of “stretchiness” so to speak, and some partners are just going to be “too big” to fit all the way. It’s important not to push yourself past your limits, and recognize your body’s signs of pain and discomfort. It just might not be the right fit – and that’s okay! There are plenty of other activities you can do besides penetration to find pleasure.




Foreplay to Relax Your Pelvic Floor & Vaginal Muscles

Foreplay is an essential part of arousal, which helps your body prepare for sex. This preparation is especially important when taking a big penis. When you’re aroused and excited, your pelvic muscles and vaginal walls naturally expand – making it easier to accommodate a larger penis. 

Spend plenty of time exploring each other’s bodies, trying out different touches and positions. Get creative and let yourself become aroused and relaxed. With smaller penises, you might be able to take it right away, but with a larger penis, it will be painful or straight-up impossible if you try to put an extra large peen in before you’re ready. 

First, explore all of your erogenous zones through making out, caressing, rubbing or grinding on one another, mutual masturbation, or even erotic massage. You can also explore oral sex to get warmed up! You might want to use fingers, vibrators, or other sex toys to help your vaginal walls relax, get aroused, and expand.

A vibrator is always a great tool to get you in the mood and warm up your body before sex. There are so many options for you to choose from to fit your and your partners’ needs and desires. Our favorite, and perhaps the most iconic vibrator, is the Magic Wand — which can help to not only arouse you and get you warmed up, expanding your pelvic floor muscles to accommodate a bigger dick, and can help you reach orgasm during sex (or anytime!)



How to Give a Blow Job on a Big Dick

By the way, you’ll also find that oral sex with a big dick might be different from what you’ve experienced before. You might not be able to fit their penis in your mouth, which is totally fine. You don’t have to stretch your mouth beyond its limits to try to take a whole penis inside. The tip of the penis (especially if they’re uncut) is much more sensitive than the shaft, and you can use that to your advantage when giving a blowjob to someone with a bigger dick.

Explore licking up and down the shaft, swirling your tongue around the head, and using your hands (with a lot of spit) to be essentially a mouth surrogate while you work the tip. Oral sex includes way more than penetrating your mouth – so use your hands, lips, and tongue to create an experience that incorporates wet, encompassing or suction sensations without needing to take the whole thing. Don’t worry about deep-throating a big dig or pushing the limits of your gag reflex — you can absolutely explore and give pleasure in so many other ways.



How to Take a Big Dick Comfortably

Once you feel ready to go for it, make sure you slather up their dick and your vulva with lots and lots of high-quality, water-based lubricant. Focus on the moment, on your partner, or on whatever fantasies, desires, and sensations make you most aroused and excited. If you’re using a vibrator or a certain foreplay technique that feels good — keep going with it! Try to keep your body aroused with all-over sensation and pleasure, instead of stopping all the pleasure to focus on “will it fit?”

Throughout the experience — make sure you’re communicating openly. Ask your partner to go slowly, check in with you, and to be mindful of your body’s responses or any sensations of tensing up, grimacing, or wincing – those are all cues from your body to slow down. If it feels a bit tight when it’s first inside, ask your partner to stop and hang out there for a second while your body adjusts, keep focusing on making out, clitoral sensation, and whatever is bringing you the most arousal and pleasure, then slowly start going at it again. The goal isn’t to have quick in-and-out thrusting — you want to warm up and ease in comfortably.



The Best Sex Positions with a Big Penis

There are also some sex positions that are best for big dicks! I highly recommend being on top, as it allows you to control the motion and pace yourself. You might find that other sex positions work better for your body. Side-by-side positions like spooning can be great because neither of you can thrust that far (and you can cuddle at the same time, which releases all those feel-good hormones)! 

Some people also find missionary to be most comfortable – you can experiment with opening your legs, curling them into you, or keeping them more closed to find what’s most comfortable. Usually, sex positions from the back tend to be more painful (especially if your partner tends to speed up) but as every body is different, you can experiment to find out what feels best for you!

Be sure to talk to your partner about keeping things slow, and letting them know in the moment how you’re feeling — whether they should slow down, not go as deep, or focus on other aspects of pleasure while your body adjusts. And we’re serious about the lube!


A condom-covered banana going into a fig.


So, what do you do if you’re still terrified of a big dick? 

Take a deep breath, and try to change your thoughts to focus on what’s bringing you the most pleasure. Anxiety never made an orgasm. Know that you’re in total control of the situation. You can set the pace and take your time, there’s no rush and no pressure. Take all the time you need to warm up and feel ready (your body will thank you!)

It can also help to get into an erotic headspace in general. Set the mood with things that turn you on, whether that’s music, soft lighting, or fabrics. It sounds silly, but our minds have a huge impact on our body’s responses. If slow and sensual isn’t your thing – imagine you’re a sex kitten or a porn star, or put a BDSM twist to it. Imagining what a “dirty slut” you are by taking such a big dick might just be the thing to put your arousal in motion. 

There are also times in your cycle when your vaginal walls will be more flexible than others (especially around ovulation) and other times when your muscles will feel tight (especially if you like doing Kegels). During the times of the month when you feel tighter, take it extra slow and easy to give your body the warm-up it needs — or recognize that it just might not be the right time and the right day, which is totally fine too!



Your pussy is a wonderful pleasure companion that can stretch more than you think it can. Meaning, there are very few penises too big for it – and your relationship isn’t doomed it seems like their penis might not fit. Use your new knowledge wisely, double up on the foreplay and all the pleasures that turn you on, and you might just find that you love how deeply that big dick can penetrate you once you’re aroused and relaxed!