What is a slut? We define a slut as someone empowered in their sexuality. Someone who doesn’t feel defined by society’s sexual “rules,” and instead makes the right choices for their own pleasure, relationships, and bodies. A slut knows what they want and goes after it, regardless of what cultural norms and expectations stand in their way. If this sounds like you, you might already be a slut, with the confidence and self-assuredness to guide your way.
A real slut doesn’t let anything stop them from reaching their goals: more pleasure, sexual expression, and playful relationships in their lives.
So, how can you become a slut? If you’re still learning to embrace your sexuality, it can be trickier than it seems. This slut-in-training guide will help you with tips to empower your inner slut, feel confident in your sexuality and pleasure, express yourself, and reclaim your sexuality and you go on your journey become the best slut you can be (aka: empowered and confident!).
Embracing a Slutty Mindset
- Let’s start with some slutty affirmations. Every day, come up with five things you love (or simply like) about yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, and say them out loud. This may be hard at first, but trust me — it gets easier and will boost your self-confidence over time as you start to believe and embody it.
- There is nothing wrong with putting yourself and your needs first in your life. Be out for yourself in the best way. Enjoy your body, your environment, and those around you. Embracing the simple pleasures of life helps us embrace pleasure in every aspect of our lives.
- Have as much fun and pleasure as possible in day to day life. Smile and laugh. A lot. Genuinely. Surround yourself with people, things, and pleasures you love. It’ll brighten your world, boost your feel-good hormones, and support you to view the world through a lens of pleasure.
- Take care of yourself. Hydrate. Eat things that make you feel well. Get enough sleep. Maybe start a gentle exercise routine, if that feels right for you. If you want to be a good slut, prioritize your energy and feeling good!
- Similarly, take care of yourself and your own intimate needs. You don’t need a partner to have pleasure, and you can learn a lot about your body by exploring what works for you. Try out vibrators and other types of toys until you find the right ones for you. Our classic vibrator of choice is the Magic Wand Original massager for powerful vibrations.
Dress Like a Slut – Quick Tips
- Plan what you wear, and pick things that make you feel good, lit up with confidence, and embody an erotic energy — whether that’s rocking clubwear or some fitted sweats. It doesn’t matter where you go or what you have planned for the day. Look and feel good!
- The same goes for makeup and hair. If you feel like it will boost your confidence, do your hair and makeup for that self-confidence boost, and rock whatever look you’re craving.
- Ditch your panties. Sometimes you’re gonna want quick, spontaneous sex wherever the desire arises. You may not be able to undress. By not wearing panties, you have one less thing to worry about. Plus, you’ll feel sexier. Trust me, fam.
- Skirts. Skiiiiirts. Nothing feels so heart-racingly sexy as the idea that maybe the wind will brush it up, or how easily you have access to what’s underneath.
- Skin. It’s okay to show it. Own your body! Anyone who judges you for your sexuality is uncomfortable with some aspect of their own. There’s no need for anyone to shame others. Just be yourself! Enjoy the moments that you’re creating. You look damn good, babe.
Act like a Slut (aka: Embody your Sexuality!)
- One of the most important parts of learning how to be a good slut is setting boundaries. Respect yourself. Everywhere. In every situation. No one walks over a slut. A real slut knows what’s on their mind and expresses it without fear. Okay… so maybe with a little fear — but they do it anyway.
- Stand up for yourself. If something makes you uncomfortable at work, don’t accept it. Never let people take advantage of you! This may be difficult at first, and it’s going to take practice if you’re not used to it, but it will get easier, and the benefits are well worth it.
- Don’t let the words of others affect you. As a slut, you may in fact be called a slut, or worse. Embrace it. There is nothing wrong with being sexual, knowing what you want, and going for it. It isn’t bad to be assertive. Laugh at the misperceptions of those who think it is.
Obviously, embodying this outspoken confidence is easier said than done — but I’ve got something that’ll help. Our founder, Lorrae Jo, runs an online course all about letting go of shame and removing those subconscious blocks that stop us from embracing our erotic selves. If you’re ready to step into being your best slutty self, join us for Subvert Your Subconscious or sync up for 1:1 Coaching!
How to Have Sex Like a Slut
- Flirt with your body, not just your words. Put things in your mouth. Twirl your tongue around your straw. Invest in lollipops or suck on the end of sunglasses. Smile and smirk while you hold their gaze. Lean in — let them feel the heat. Make it clear that you’re down to play.
- Don’t be afraid to make your desires known. Tell your partner that you want them, how you want them, and that you want them here and now. Don’t let them guess. A real slut doesn’t want to wait.
- Explore all the areas of your body that bring you pleasure. Experimentation is the key to unlocking more pleasure. Trail each other with your fingertips, your knees between each other’s legs, mouths on necks, teeth on earlobes. Diversifying your sensations opens up a world of new pleasures.
- On that note—don’t be afraid of some slutty public behavior. I’m not necessarily talking about stripping buck naked in a room of crowded people (though that’s fine too), but don’t be afraid of a good make-out sesh in the club, or sneaking into an alleyway for a quickie. Lick the line of tendon up their throat. Lift your skirt so they can grab your ass. If you want good sex, show your partner what good sex means to you. Life is too short to wait.
- Lastly, the most important part of how to be a good slut is to learn what makes you happy and go for it without shame or a second thought. If that means going to a nude beach, do it If that means eating a slab of cake, do it! If that means giving yourself a pedicure, a facial, and soaking in the bath for an hour, DO. IT.
If anyone ever asks you, “why do you like being a slut?”, tell them: A real slut knows what they want—not just in but, but in life, too. So go get it, slut. Live it up and have your best slutty life!
Amazing! Thanks for this slut training guide article.
Kittyhepburn, you nailed it all in your article about embracing being a slut! Knowing you can, and need to have boundaries, that allow you more freedom actually in the long run, is so crucial as a slut. Knowing how to say “no thank you”,or “I won’t be spoken to that way”, is so empowering, and let’s others know that you CAN be a “selective slut” – one who knows what she’s about, and what she’s worth, and won’t settle, because , let’s face it, women have choices!
Thank you for your detailed steps on dressing and acting the part. I’m an ex sexworker and erotica author, and turning 50. What was my sexual M.O. isn’t necessarily true for me today, and I’m still dealing with the guilt and shame of some things in my past, so I benefited from your article, as I am redefining my inner slut to encompass more. I have evolved by defining new boundaries, new desires, and having new thoughts about my body and what I think is sexy. Being confident and having knowledge are key for me for truly embracing my sexuality, and finally, as my sister once told me in anger, but now sees it as a compliment, “Once a slut, always a slut!”.