Positions with you on top put you in control, giving you total authority over your own pleasure and your partner. While you’re in the lead, you can control to speed, depth, angle, and overall rhythm of your motions, giving you total control of your orgasm. Meanwhile, their hands have direct access to your breasts, clitoris, and ass – allowing them to lay back and enjoy the view while their hands roam across your hot spots.

Editor’s Note: This position, as well as its other variations, tends to be referred to using gendered language. However, it’s a great position for any couple, regardless of gender.



Name: Cowgirl

Difficulty: Adventurous
Intensity: Moderate
Speed: Slow to Steady

Perfect For: Clitoral Stimulation, G-Spot Stimulation, Anal Sex, Small Penis, Large Penis, Marathons, Beginners, Romance, Car Sex


How to Do It

There always seems to be a lot of confusion about the proper way to work Cowgirl. But, with a little practice and a big dose of healthy confidence, this position is easy to conquer.



First, climb on top and straddle your partner while they are lying down. Position your knees at the sides of their waist and align your own hips over their pelvis. Place your hands on the bed or their chest for support. Then, slowly lower yourself onto them, holding the base of their penis to guide it.

Rather than a fast paced thrust or bucking movement, the best way to maneuver in Cowgirl is through slow, steady rocking and grinding motions. Gently bob up and down on your knees to build momentum while lightly bucking your hips forward and backward with each movement. Usually, it’s best to tighten your hips forward as you push up on your knees, and arch your butt backward as you settle back down. Shallow thrusts will give you a lot of sensitive stimulation, and can be alternated with deeper thrusts for even more sensation. To switch it up, you can also grind from side to side or in circles and see what works for you.



In this position, your partner has a great view and a lot of room to explore. Have them rub their hands across your body, stimulate your breasts, or rub your clitoris for a boost of pleasure and sensation. If you’re feeling really naughty, they can reach behind to grab or smack your ass, and even slip a finger inside to push you over the edge.

When your legs inevitably get tired, have your partner hold your hips to help support and guide you while they gently mirror your movements with smaller thrusts. If their member slips out, you can easily slip it back in and continue without a second thought.


Make It Hotter

While Cowgirl position can be a bit intimidating, it gives you a lot of room to explore what sensations, speeds, and movements feel best for your body. The over the top pleasure of this position often comes from the slow grinding motions and pressure against your clitoris, but if you find it needs more of a boost, these tips can help to bring you over the edge.

First, remember that the key is confidence. You might not always love what you see in the mirror, but the last thing your partner is thinking about when they see you full-frontal and in charge is the jiggling of your thighs or a bit of extra lovin’ on your handles. What they really see is bouncing titties, irresistible curves, and a partner that’s confident and in control. If you’re not too confident and think you might look silly… fake it ’til you make it. The only way you’re gonna master this position is with practice and a big dose of confidence.



For more clitoral stimulation, lean forward putting your face closer to theirs, with your hands or elbows above their head or leaning on the headboard or wall in front of you. Not only will you be face-to-face for steamy make out sessions, but your clitoris will be lined up directly with their pubic bone for stimulation inside and out. You can even have them raise their butt or slip some pillows under them for a closer feel. This hot and intimate stance can get even steamier. As you’re leaning up against your partner’s body, have them work up their pace, getting faster and faster, supporting you with their hands as they get deep thrusts for unparalleled pleasure.



To get more g-spot pleasure, put your arms behind you and rest your hands on the bed parallel to your pratner’s knees. As you balance yourself and lean back, rock your hips back and forth to get direct g-spot stimulation. Arch your back to find the perfect sweet spot. Meanwhile, they’ll get an unforgettable view of your stretched out body while you show off your assets and get a sexy slender silhouette in a second.

If Cowgirl still has you feeling a bit self-conscious, you can pull your partner towards you, having them sit up to meet you while you wrap your arms (and legs) around them. Although some may say this is a different position entirely, it is a quick and easy switch of Cowgirl that will increase your intimacy while removing insecurities.



When to Use It

Cowgirl is truly the perfect position for all occasions. Whether you’re searching for clitoral stimulation or g-spot pleasure, a few alterations will push you over the edge. This position is easy to accomplish in even the tightest spaces, like the car, on a couch, or the futon in your basement. Cowgirl isn’t just for vaginal sex, though… it’s perfect for anal sex, since you can control each and every motion without getting in too deep too soon.

Speaking of going deep, if your partner is large, you can position your legs wider to better accommodate their size, and control the depth and speed of their penetration so they’re not ripping you apart. On the other hand, if you partner is small, you can enjoy subtle rocking movements that stimulate your clitoris. If they pop out, just slow down your technique and reposition until you get the right fit. Really, it’s a win-win no matter how you do it!

Keep in mind though, this position isn’t for everyone. It’s well suited for romance, marathons, and overall passionate sex that could be considered tantric, with slow build that works up to a steady pace, and a lot of intimate eye and body contact. If you’re into fast-paced positions with a lot of deep thrusting, this bump-and-grind position probably isn’t for you.