If you haven’t been keeping up on your Broad City or don’t like to watch porn, then you might not know that pegging is a huge trend right now. And honestly? I love it. Pegging typically means that a woman-identified person uses a strap-on dildo to penetrate a male-identified person anally, although folks of any gender may call using a strap-on on a receiving partner as pegging.

Here’s what gets me excited about this trend: straight cis-males are finally growing out of the idea that anything close to their butt makes them gay. The reality is far more nuanced and honestly liberating. Yay to people being comfortable with their bodies and allowing themselves pleasure! That’s what sexual empowerment looks like, and it’s a beautiful thing to witness in real-time.

If you’re curious about exploring pegging with your partner, confused about what it actually involves, or just looking to understand the hype, this comprehensive guide covers everything you need to know. From the anatomy that makes it feel incredible to the practical steps for doing it safely and enjoyably, we’re breaking down all the myths and giving you the real story.

A GIF of a Broad City character saying "Woo, you a Pegga! Pegga-sus!"

Why Does Pegging Feel So Good? The Prostate Story

Welcome to a quickest anatomy lesson that’ll totally transform how you think about pleasure! Like the G-spot in people with vulvas, men have a “P-spot” (the prostate gland), and guess where it is? You guessed it… it’s in the butt! This isn’t some fringe pleasure zone; it’s legitimate, powerful sexual real estate.

The prostate gland, located about two inches into the anus on the front wall (toward the belly button, not the back), is responsible for making cum creamy, and is also totally pleasurable when stimulated. In fact, prostate stimulation is often called “milking” the prostate – and yes, that’s as satisfying as it sounds.

When the prostate is stimulated through strap-on penetration, it creates sensations that many men describe as intense, full-body, and completely different from other forms of pleasure. Some people report experiencing whole-new types of orgasms through prostate play. That’s why pegging has gone from whispered curiosity to mainstream interest – because the pleasure is real.

A woman walking towards a man lying on the bed holding a vibrator.

Pegging Basics: Tools, Techniques & What You Need to Know

Pegging is most commonly done with a strap-on harness paired with a dildo, but it could also be done with an anal toy and harness, or even without a harness depending on the toy design and what works for you. I’ve used a harness paired with a realistic (but on the slim side) dildo, and that setup works beautifully for both partners.

Before we get into the how-to, let’s talk prep. This is non-negotiable for an amazing experience.

Pre-Pegging Preparation: Don’t Skip This

The biggest factor in how amazing (or not) pegging feels comes down to one thing: preparation. This isn’t something to rush or skip, and it’s essentially all the typical warm-up steps for having the best anal sex. Make sure your partner:

  • Uses the bathroom beforehand—this matters more than you’d think for comfort
  • Considers an enema or anal douche—this is genuinely important! It makes them more comfortable and will probably save you some messy cleanup. Think of it like foreplay prep for your butt.
  • Takes time to warm up—just like any anal play, you need to build up gradually

I can’t stress enough: proper preparation transforms the experience from “awkward and uncomfortable” to “oh my god, this is amazing.” Your partner will be grateful for the thoughtfulness, and you’ll both enjoy the experience so much more.

The Step-By-Step Process

When you’re ready to play, take all the typical warm-up steps for having the best anal sex. Start small and work your way up. Here’s the progression:

  • First: A finger (well-lubricated, moving slowly)
  • Then: Two fingers (same slow, gentle approach)
  • Then: A toy (if desired, before moving to penetration with the strap-on)
  • Finally: The dildo (when your partner feels ready and fully relaxed)

Lubrication is your best friend here. Use copious amounts—seriously, more than you think you need. Add extra lube to the dildo and to your partner. This isn’t the time to skimp.

When you’re ready for penetration:

  1. Position: Have your partner bend over and spread their cheeks. Standing behind them gives you the best control and angle. (Pro tip: this also looks incredibly hot from your perspective.)
  2. Guide with your hand: Even if you have a well-fitted harness, use your hand to guide the dildo into their butt. This gives you control and lets your partner know what’s coming.
  3. Go slow but smooth: This isn’t about speed; it’s about steady, confident entry. Jerky or hesitant movements can create tension rather than pleasure.
  4. Breathing matters: Remind your partner to breathe deeply—especially if this is a new sensation for them. Deep breathing relaxes muscles and makes everything easier.
  5. Communication is everything: Ask them what they want. “More? Deeper? Faster?” Let them guide the intensity. This is about their pleasure and comfort.

My Honest Take on Pegging: The Real Experience

My partner really enjoyed being pegged, and honestly? It’s deeply satisfying to make your partner happy in a way they’ve maybe never experienced before. If only for their pleasure alone, I would absolutely try pegging again.

But here’s my real, unfiltered take on what to expect when you’re on the giving end:

Preparation Is Everything

I learned this the hard way. Make sure your partner has genuinely taken care of themselves down there before you dive in. Skipping this step could make the experience feel like a turn-off rather than a turn-on. When everything is clean and prepared, you can actually relax and enjoy the experience instead of worrying. That makes it immensely better for both of you.

Consider Getting Yourself Off Too

Here’s something I wish I’d known: unlike with a real penis, it’s not directly pleasurable to be the one pegging. The penetration you’re providing isn’t creating the same kind of friction or sensation for you. So I’d absolutely suggest having some kind of insertable toy or butt plug for yourself. This way, you’re getting pleasure too, and you’re modeling the sexual confidence and pleasure-seeking that makes this whole thing so hot.

There’s a Learning Curve

As someone who doesn’t have a penis and therefore has no natural instinct for how to control one, I’ll be honest: there’s definitely a learning curve. Maneuvering and the rhythm of dipping in and out can take some practice, even with a well-fitting harness. But here’s the thing – that can be part of the fun! It’s a shared experience where you’re both figuring something out together.

Give yourself grace. You don’t need to be a porn star about this. Your partner will appreciate your effort, creativity, and willingness to explore something new together way more than perfect technique.

Taking Your Pegging Play Further: Enhanced Pleasure Tips

Once you’ve got the basics down, here are some ways to deepen the experience:

  • Combine with prostate massage: Use your fingers to gently massage the area while you’re pegging for intensified sensation
  • Add dirty talk: Verbal play can intensify arousal and pleasure. Get creative with what turns you both on
  • Explore power dynamics: Pegging naturally creates interesting power dynamics; some couples find this incredibly hot
  • Don’t forget about their front: Your partner might want clitoral/penile stimulation at the same time, so coordinate with a hand or toy

Communication & Safety: The Foundation of Good Pegging

All of this comes back to one essential thing: communication. Before, during, and after pegging, you and your partner need to be on the same page.

  • Before: Talk about desires, boundaries, comfort levels, and what “stop” looks like
  • During: Check in regularly. “Is this good? Want me to adjust?” Keep talking.
  • After: Aftercare matters. Cuddle, talk about what you both loved, and connect. This builds intimacy and trust for next time.

Safety matters too. Always use condoms on the dildo if you’re transitioning between partners, even within the same encounter. Use barriers consistently. And remember: if anything hurts in a bad way (not just intense sensation), stop immediately and regroup.

The Bigger Picture: What Pegging Means for Sexual Empowerment

Here’s what I genuinely love about the pegging trend: it represents a massive cultural shift in how we think about male pleasure, masculinity, and the taboo around anal pleasure. When straight men start exploring pegging, they’re literally reclaiming pleasure that patriarchal culture told them was off-limits. That’s revolutionary in a quiet, intimate kind of way.

It’s about stepping out of scripts written for you and into authentic pleasure. Vulnerability, trust, and the courage to ask for what you actually want. It’s about partners creating space for each other’s full expression.

Pegging is both a sex act and a statement: I’m comfortable with my body. I’m willing to explore. I trust my partner. I deserve pleasure. That’s what gets me excited about this trend.


Recommended Resources for Deeper Learning

Want to explore more about anal pleasure, sexual confidence, and partner communication? These resources go deeper into the topics that make pegging amazing: